September 23, 2001
This issue of Autoduel Illustrated features the Bloodbath 20K
The IDL Bloodbath was run on September 15th, and featured 8 duelists, as well
as a number of pedestrians to spice things up. In tribute to the recent
terrorist attacks, and to those brave men and women who lost their lives trying
to save as many people as possible, the Internet Dueling League decided to make
a contribution to the New York Firefighters 9-11 Disaster relief fund in the
name of the winner of the event. As defending champion Curt Lindmark put it:
"This time, it's not just for glory".
This month's IDL duel saw a number of new competitors to the IDL circuit.
Thomas Dawe, John Lewis, Paul Spence, and Martin Caldwell. They were up against
some tough veterans, Curt Lindmark, David 'Stee1 Cobra' McGee, Joe Barlow, and
Curt and his Defiant took prime Gate, but much of the credit there belonged
to his pit crew, as he edged out David McGee by 3 points. Half of the starting
field was within 10 qualifying points of the prime gate, but then it
deteriorated quickly, down to Martin's "Minor Damage". Relying heavily
on dropped weapons, Martin turned around a very poor qualifying score.
|Right out of the gates, Lewis' "Lilabror" found Glen's
"Streak", and an incredible boost in acceleration, benefited by
nitrous oxide, made the meeting complete, ripping the Streak into pieces. The
lightning quick acceleration with an 18/14 Ramplate earned the Lilabror the
Ambush Autoworks Designer's Award. Glen's unwilling participation in the
collision earned him the Speedy Quick Exit Award.
John Lewis also kept the crowd on it's feet as he blazed away with his Vulcan
Machine Gun. 4 solid hits, combined with 3 rams, turning 2 targets into
confetti, earned Lewis the United States Navy Top Gun Award.
|When McGee and Barlow qualified in identical cars, the crowd questioned the
possibility of a conspiracy. When the "Stee1 Cobra" and the "IHammer
69" passed by one another, not once, but twice, the world knew something
must have been going on. It turns out that the subcompact junkies were both
being financed by Toyota. These lightweight, highly maneuverable, cars came in
under $18,000 in this Division 20 duel, making them the first two cars to ever
run for the Toyota Efficiency Award. Unfortunately, neither car fared very well,
only killing one pedestrian between the two of them. Perhaps shooting each other
would have increased their odds.
The pedestrians were expected to provide some added excitement to the duel,
as they came out armed and ready. Each one was offered a free 10 year Gold Cross
contract, if they could manage to disable any vehicle. The fan favorite was
Willie, who entered the arena with swim fins, scuba gear, a life jacket, and a
spear gun, as well as a riot shield and a heavy pistol.
If Willie had been facing the right direction, perhaps his riot shield would
of protected him from the discharger onslaught unleashed by the Stee1 Cobra.
Pedestrian Doug, however fared a little better. Armed with a Heavy
Anti-Vehicular Rifle, a backpack full of weapons, and protected by Body Armor
and an Armored Battle Vest, Doug managed to run around the field for a while
before Martin Caldwell's Minor Damage side-swiped him, leaving him unconscious
on the arena floor. When Joseph Barlow swept by to finish the job, the Flechette
Dischargers mounted on the IHammer did little but crack Doug's Body Armor. Doug
survived the duel, an unconscious ped, earning him the Raysbestos Lucky Break
|Curt Lindmark kept his foot down long enough to bring the Defiant to a
blurring 82.5 MPH. Only John Lewis came close, as he managed to bring the
Lilabror up to 75 MPH. Curt earned the British Petroleum High Octane Award.
Despite the three solid impacts delivered by Lewis' Lilabror, the biggest ram
of the event came from defending champion Curt Lindmark, who with less than a
second left on the clock, made a sudden jot to the right, just as Barlow tried
to avoid the head on with an equal maneuver to the left. Although Curt slammed
on his brakes before impact, in car telemetry tells us that the impact speed was
at 100 MPH, without a ramplate. This shattering impact demolished the IHammer,
earning Lindmark the Cactus Jack Heavy Hitter Award. Flames kicked up in Curt's
cockpit, but quick action with a portable fire extinguisher knocked the flames
|When the dust settled, it was once again, Curt Lindmark who was able to walk
away with the victory, thanks to the last second head-on ram.
|The Final Scores:
Curt Lindmark - "Defiant" - 13 points
John Lewis - "Lilabror" - 10 points
Martin Caldwell - "Minor Damage" - 3 points
David 'Stee1 Cobra' McGee - "Stee1 Cobra" - 1 point
Paul Spence - "Yorkshire Surprise" - -2 points
Joseph Barlow - "IHammer 69" - - 5 points
Thomas Dawe - "Thomas Bloodbath" - -5 points
Glen Bucher - "Streak" - -5 points
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|The Bloodbath 20K introduced four new duelists to the IDL. Of these four, one
duelist quickly showed that he was determined to rise to the top of the field.
Normally, we are unable to get an interview with a rookie duelist, and have to
interview their clone instead. John Lewis however, is an exception. In his first
IDL event, John Lewis racked up the first kill with a 55 MPH ram through the
lightly armored side of Glen Bucher's Streak. John completed the event with 3
kills, and earned the Ambush Autoworks Designer's Award for best design, and the
United States Navy Top Gun Award, for landing the most attacks in the event.
John's day came to an end when his tires were lost to gunfire and flaming
clouds, and he slid halfway out of one of the gates. AI caught up with John
after the duel.
|AI: You took an early lead in the Bloodbath 20K, and held the lead until the
very last second. Clearly this was not your first duel ever. Where else have you
|JL: I've spent a lot of time in the simulators.
JL: Just kidding. I've dueled in lots of minor leagues
and events. To be honest, I think I was just lucky. Most of those duels were
quite deadly and I think just getting out alive is the most important thing.
AI: You had a huge lead, until you lost not one, but three tires. You were
also the only vehicle without Wheelguards or Armored Hubs. Do you think this was
a design flaw, or was it just a lucky shot that took out your first tire, and
things went downhill from there?
JL: Well, it was a design decision to go without, in
order to add the maximum amount of armor to the front. Even with all the armor,
the front was breached with that last impact. I toyed with the idea of fake
guards and hubs, because your tires a never safe. Having prefaced with that, I
think it was the eventual winner who took the tire shot and it was a brilliant
tactical move. Next time I'll just have to go with solid tires.
AI: This was the most impressive start for a rookie since the inception of
the IDL. Do you think you will be back?
JL: Oh yes. You don't walk away from a joyride like
that and not want to come back for more. My wife is concerned for my safety, but
it's also why she married me.
AI: You were less than a second from victory, before Curt Lindmark stole it
with a head on ram against Joe Barlow, even though neither had a ramplate.
Lindmark was also responsible for shooting out all three of your tires. Do we
detect a bit of a grudge, or maybe the hint of revenge in the air?
JL: Lindmark is a great driver, and for him to have the
sense to take a header for the win shows he has a competitive spirit. I heard
that when I smashed that last car he thought I was coming for him... in a way I
was. My intent was not to confetti that last car, but to push it back into his
path. I just lead footed it. Next time I'll be sure to take him out early.
AI: Did your design team have to do anything different in preparing for the
JL: At first I thought this was a 50K event. The car I
built for that event was a monster and I was trying in Lilabror to scale the
basic idea down. Some of the design decisions, in retrospect, were flawed. I
should have gone with a turret for the Vulcan and solid tires. Lindmark had an
interesting idea with the flames, but as a ram vehicle Lilabror did great.
AI: Not only were you a rookie coming into today's duel, but you took out
veteran autoduelist Glen Bucher.
JL: Obviously my first kill was due to the Nitro and
the incredible acceleration it gave. It was a little hard to control and I don't
know if I will be using that again.
AI: Is there anything else you would like to say to the readers of Autoduel
JL: I enjoyed the duel very much. The facilities were
top notch and the IDL is clearly the best league for this type of event. The
officials were all great to work with.
As for Lindmark, I'll see you next duel.
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return to top
By Curt Lindmark
When the news came down the wire that the Internet Dueling League was having
another match, I and my design team went right to work, reviewing film footage,
juggling priorities of speed vs firepower, and came up with a dream machine:
Defiant is everything that RathUvKahn was not. It was fast (hoo boy, it was
fast!) It was nimble. But Defiant and RathUvKahn did share something in common:
a spot in the winner's circle.
This match was based on points, first to 20 wins. 5 points for a vehicular
kill, 3 points for running over a pedestrian, 1 point for killing a pedestrian
by gunfire. Negative points for dying (aren't there always?)
I qualified in the Prime Gate, so I took a brief look at the other cars and
decided where they should go. Let's take a look at the cars:
|Defiant (me): turreted HMG with a FCE on the back, gas burner sloped
compact, spoiler and airdam combo|
|Irish Hammer: VMG front on a gasburner subcompact, spoiler and airdam
|Stee1Cobra: VMG front on a gasburner subcompact, spoiler and airdam combo
|Lilabror: ramplated gasburner compact, with what turned out to be amazing
|Minor Damage: mid-sized six-wheeled electric with twin mine droppers and a
rocket up front. Not sure which type of rocket, it never got fired|
|Streak: sloped ramplate gasburner compact with spoiler and airdam combo
and a RR to the right|
|Thomas Bloodbath: easily the most eccentric design I've seen, mounting 3
HRs front, a SS back, a FT right and an LMG to the left, and a ramplate on
|Yorkshire Surprise: 6-wheeled pickup with one RL front and back and a
ramplate on the nose.|
I recognized Irish Hammer and Stee1Cobra from the previous match, and knew
that they wanted to test their metal against each other, so I put them in the
other drum, away from me. I also put Minor Damage on their end, figuring he'd
either be a victim, or cause enough headaches (and tireaches) for the two of
them that I wouldn't be near them. Thomas Bloodbath I put in the tunnel next to
me. I was expecting him to come my way, and I planned on crossing his tee with a
HMG burst and a FC trail for him to run into. Yorkshire Surprise I put to my
left, counting on my speed to keep his RL off me, and planned on dancing around
him. Streak, I put opposite me, figuring he had an Anti-Tank gun (wrong), and
was also counting on my speed to keep his shells off me. To round it out, I put
Lilabror in the far tunnel, forcing him to choose one half or the other, and
thereby giving me plenty of time to avoid him if I needed to.
|At the start of the gun, everyone took of. I went to cut in front of Thomas,
only he went the other way! I took a potshot at him, but didn't connect.
Yorkshire came lumbering after me, Lilabror turned to the right, and Streak
turned in front of him. Ouch. I hadn't noticed it, but Lilabror was actually
going in the range of 70 mph when he bisected Streak's car from his (presumably)
weak side. The match wasn't two seconds long and already there was a kill! 5
points for Lilabror, -5 points for Streak. I quickly re-evaluated Lilabror as
the major threat, and went to get into his blind-side. Right about then, the
gates started letting the tourists in. A man named Fred walked in with his
portable FT and lit up Lilabror's back end. As I approached Lilabror's blind
spot, I flipped a coin and decided tails vs head. I charged down the tunnel and
turned Fred into a smear on the pavement. 3 points for me.
Right about this time, Stee1 and Thomas were doing some fancy coordinated
stunt driving. The crowd loved it! They both skidded out of control at each
other, with Thomas up on two wheels! Thomas skidded to a halt and dropped his
wheels on the trunk of Stee1's car as he drove off. Very impressive! As I came
charging out of the tunnel, I saw Irish Hammer following the outer wall, and I
figured this was the perfect time to start dropping flame clouds. I came to that
conclusion too late, though, and left a wide enough gap for a truck to drive
through. Oh well. Meanwhile, Minor Damage, Yorkshire Surprise, Lilabror and some
very unlucky man named Bob were all occupying the upper tunnel, along with a
very unhealthy amount of mines. Miraculously, two cars actually survived that
mess! Minor Damage came out relatively unscathed, Lilabror came out with yet
another kill (after rear-ending Yorkshire Surprise into Yorkshire Pudding), but
Yorkshire managed to deny Lilabror the 3 points for running down Bob, by being
pushed into Bob first. (10 points for Lilabror, -2 points for Yorkshire) As I
rounded the middle column, Lilabror came lumbering out, Yorkshire's flaming
truck slowly drifted in and halted against the center column, and Thomas was
slowly starting to accelerate back from his stunt driving. Irish Hammer had
cleared the flame wall I had badly placed and headed for the other drum. Stee1
passed by him and headed for the southern part of my drum. As I passed by
Thomas, Lilabror kicked in the afterburners and plowed through Thomas. Poor
Thomas. I had the unique opportunity to be moving faster than the ram car, and
be at point-blank range, so I took it. I flipped the switch to put the FC on
automatic, and drilled Lilabror's front left tire with a hail of lead. Lilabror
managed to lose a total of three tires in the blink of an eye, and skidded to a
halt, facing the wall, becoming my first vehicular kill of the match! (8 points
for me, 10 points for Lilabror).
As Fred and Bob were dead, more cannon fodder, I mean pedestrians entered the
arena. Doug, on the far side, was going to fall victim to either Minor Damage or
Irish Hammer, whoever got there first.
On my side of the field, there was Willie! Willie isn't all there. He was
sporting scuba gear, fins, a spear gun, a riot shield and a heavy pistol. Looks
like Willie wasn't taking his medication. Stee1Cobra was a few car lengths
closer than I was, but I was going much faster, and still had more speed left to
go, so it became a race to see who would run Willie down first. What didn't
occur to me was that someone would use firepower when ramming was worth three
times the points. Stee1Cobra fired off flechette dischargers and turned Willie
into something matching the consistency of chuncky salsa. Poor Willie.
Stee1 and I passed by each other, and I headed for the other drum, seeing way
too many obstacles in this drum (Lilabror's flaming carcass, a host of mines,
Yorkshire's flaming carcass, Stee1Cobra's car, and yet another pedestrian, Tim,
with a tripod mounted Vulcan Machine Gun! As I was leaving, I took a potshot at
Stee1Cobra's car, and marked him. Nothing major, but enough to cost him a paint
job. I also, for grins and giggles, floored the engine to its top speed of 83
mph, most likely securing me the British Petroleum High Octane Award.
Meanwhile, Minor Damage got credit for taking out the other Pedestrian, Doug,
but did not kill him, so no more pedestrians could come in until one of them was
killed. Irish Hammer and Minor Damage had passed by each other without firing,
and Irish was coming towards me. Time was running out, and I was still 2 points
behind Lilabror. I needed a rammed pedestrian or a vehicular kill, and I needed
it right away! I was out of flame cloud shots, and there wasn't enough time for
me to circle behind Irish and pepper him with lead to take him out. Desperate
times call for desperate measures. I decided to ram him. Considering what
happened to him the last match with a collision, I figured he would dodge away
and give me the opening for a T-bone. No such luck. As I realized it was going
to be a head-on, I drilled the brakes. My lead design technician told me not to
intentionally collide with anything over 80 mph, and right now the meeting speed
was at a earth-shattering 130mph! I managed to get my speed down to 40 at the
last instant of tire-screeching, and crumpled my entire front end, and half my
engine! It burst into flames before my eyes, and my training kicked in to drop
the wheel, grab the fire extingusher, and douse the flames. As the smoke
cleared, I was able to see that Irish Hammer was my second vehicular kill of the
match, and that put me at 13 points, enough to secure victory in the nick of